How It Feels
by KimDavenport
Summary: After Taken, Bree has completely shut herself away from the rest of the world. She's alone with her thoughts. And her thoughts are on Douglas. What happened to him? Where was he? Was it possible Krane had gotten to him? She hoped not. How awful would that feel, to lose a family member forever? (Rated T for character death.)


**Hi everyone! So this is a pretty emotional story, and it contains depression as well a character death, so just be warned.**

 **I have to admit that I consider this to be my deepest one-shot yet. It took me forever to word everything properly, but I think I finally did it right and I feel proud of it now. I hope you like it and I hope it reaches you emotionally.**

 **Disclaimer-I do not own Lab Rats.**

 ***How It Feels***

Today the Davenports were finally going to do something a normal family would do; they were going on a road trip.

Mission Creek was located about two hours away from San Francisco, and Tasha had finally convinced her husband that taking a family vacation was a good idea. Donald hadn't been to quick to jump on the idea, but then again, had it been up to him, he would never leave his beloved lab.

But a wife's persistence should never be underestimated, and he had finally caved to woman's wishes.

When the children heard they were going on a road trip they were all very excited, as well children should be. Chase immediately begin to research the city to find all of the most historic and educational places to visit; Adam started bragging about all the cool new foods he was going to get to try; and Leo was just bouncing up and down in the pure joy of it all.

But one member of the Davenport family-besides Donald, of course-was not joining in the festivities.

Bree Davenport was sitting alone at the kitchen counter, staring off into space with a glazed look on her face, while Chase tried desperately to convince Adam that the De Young was _not_ some baby that was now on display because it was so small.

Bree just sat there at the kitchen counter, alone, not really all that far from her brothers, and yet so _distant_ from them all.

She stared at the refrigerator, a glazed look in her eyes and a poker expression frozen onto her face. No one could seem to reach her; her mind was in another world.

Last week, after Krane had attacked the Lab Rats and Douglas had saved them, Bree seemed to retreat inside herself; she hardly ever spoke and didn't seem to be able to communicate in a social way. Everyone was worried about her; but Donald said she was probably just working through the stress she had felt last week.

"Just give her time, and when she's ready, she'll come to us." he said when Adam and Chase had asked him what to do.

He had also managed to calm Tasha down a little, who was completely frantic over the strange behavior of her teenage daughter. She had been Bree's mother figure for over two years now, and she felt a sort of responsibility to the young girl. She wanted to be the caring, kind, helpful mother that every teenage girl wanted. She wanted Bree to feel like she could come to her about anything; that they would always be able to talk and that she could always help her daughter out of anything. This, however, was beyond Tasha's help. And she knew that. Bree had secluded herself from the world; and Donald was convinced that the only thing that could bring her back was time.

The rest of the family, however, was looking forward to distract themselves from their troubling thoughts of the last week with a fun, normal, family trip.

Soon the car was packed, the hotel had been booked, the house had been locked up, and Donald had practically run out of reasons why they shouldn't go on this trip because it was taking away from their training time, his inventing time, and such. When Tasha had learned that Eddy would have to be left home because they didn't have a portable battery with enough power to keep him from crashing during the duration of their trip, however, that was a huge energy boost for her and there was no way she was backing down now. And now that Donald was out on the road, he was actually beginning to enjoy himself; although of course he would never admit it.

Everyone had a jolly time on the ride, annoying the two adults to death with contestant repetitions of; "are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

Even Chase joined in the immature fun of causing a childish ruckus. And Adam, of course, had been the one to start it. Leo was singing his heart out-a very tone deaf heart-to one of his newest favorite songs, and even Tasha was joining in the cacophony of sounds; the main goal of which was to drive Donald out of his mind.

The owner of the silent voice seemed to be the loudest of all, however. Her soundless lips pinched everyone's ears with pain and lay heavy on their heads, leaving them with a lingering feeling of depression.

They reached the hotel and the boys dashed inside, while Tasha followed slowly with Bree.

"Are you glad to be out of the car, my little bee-bee?" asked Tasha, hoping that the childhood nickname would get some reaction out of her mute daughter.

Bree simply dipped her head a few inches, in what could hardly be called a nod.

Tasha sighed dejectedly, and decided to give up for now. Bree was obviously not going to open up to anybody until she felt ready.

After an avid argument over what the day's activities should include-and they had demolished Chase's list within a few seconds-they decided to go for just a short walk before dinner, and reserve the large amount of their sightseeing for the following day.

Bree hadn't involved herself in the discussions at all, and when it had been decided what they should do, she went along without a word.

The sun was hanging low in the sky as the family made their way out of the hotel. It burned a deep orange color, and didn't seem to have as much power as it had earlier in the day; although the air was still warm. Bree found it interesting the way the sun would blare directly down on you in the early morning, but in the afternoon it would simply heat the air around you, which pressed up against you like a fluffy pillow that just got out of the dryer. It seemed almost as though the sun had a life each day; in the morning it was so fresh and ready to face the world, then at noon it would get upset, and confused, and it would finish out the rest of it's day-long-life trying it's hardest but always being blocked by obstacles such as tall trees and smoothening air.

Bree lagged behind her family as they cheerfully made their way along the busy street. And while they laughed and joked with each other, acting completely oblivious to the world they passed, Bree studied it, and every little beautiful thing it had to offer.

Bree had not been expecting the have as much fun on that walk as she did. She felt a kind of magic inside of her, walking along such a pretty road with the gorgeous sunlight shining down.

It was an incredible and exhilarating chance to think. To use the doorway of the beautiful world to slip into her own. To fall back into her mind.

Bree couldn't for the life of her comprehend why she was feeling so affected by all that had happened during the last week.

It hadn't been her who had been kidnapped. It hadn't been her who had been locked in a thousand-degree cooker and practically baked alive. It hadn't been her who had knocked out Krane, and it hadn't been her who had jumped in to save Douglas.

She had done nothing more then Adam, and if anyone had a reason to feel depressed and out-of-world like right now, it was Chase. After all, he was the only one out of them who had ever had to really fear for his life. In that split second he had jumped before Douglas, if he had just been a second to late, landed at just a slightly different angle; he would have been killed instantly by Krane's fireball.

But he wasn't, for which Bree was continuously thankful. She couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if Chase had been killed. What would it be like to have one of her family members gone forever? To know you'd never see them again? Never hear their voice, or watch them laugh, or be able to talk to them whenever you wanted?

Bree was glad she didn't have to think about that.

Her family was all safe and sound, right nearby her.

At least, most of them-

But what had become of Douglas? Krane was a persistent and evil villain. No one could deny that. Bree was certain that if he wanted someone dead, they would be dead within a matter of days. Especially if that person was not bionic. What if Chase had risked his life for nothing?

Bree couldn't help but think her Uncle had been wrong to throw out his own brother. All she could think of now was where Douglas was, and pray that he was safe.

Up ahead there was a cemetery, and Chase suggested they go inside and walk around a bit. Something about some famous guy being buried there and him wanting to see the grave.

It seemed to Bree as a very weird place to relive someone's greatness; their gravestone. Wouldn't it be better to visit a monument dedicated to them? Or their birthplace? A tombstone seemed like such a crude and so very sad way to remember someone who left a sizable mark on this world.

But Bree did not object as she saw no use in it, and she followed her brothers into the cemetery.

Bree felt uneasy the moment she entered through the twisted black gates. The queasy feeling that had been in her stomach since last week suddenly increased by ten, and she literally felt as though strength was being drained from her very body.

Bree couldn't understand why she was feeling this way. She felt nervous and exhausted at the same time. A swirling body of leaves seemed to be a sign to her to turn back. And the light pounding their feet made on the hard dirt track seemed to be chanting words of warning.

Suddenly, Bree just stopped. She didn't know what was wrong. She didn't know why she could not go on. She just knew she couldn't. She couldn't feel the strength to move. The eerie feeling which had started in her stomach had now spread to the rest of her body. Her hair was sitting uncannily straight against her head, even though a slight breeze was blowing the trees right next to her. Bree could not fathom why, but she could not go another step. Something was holding her back.

Her family continued on, not noticing that their sixth member had stopped short.

That's when Bree looked down to her side.

And saw the words that made her entire body quake and her stomach fall.

 **Here lies Douglas Davenport**

 **Born 1977**

 **Died April 24, 2014**

 **Died in Mass Accident**

The softly glowing sunlight shining down on the hard grey stone completely mislead the moment.

Bree sank to her knees, feeling a somber wave of weariness completely overtake every part of her body.

She shook with despondency, but her head was completely forward; facing the proof to a point she didn't want to believe.

The rest of her family looked back and saw her sitting stock-still with a look of misery and disbelief on her face, and hurried back to help her. But there was nothing they could do.

With shock they read the same words, and quiet sobs and screams could be heard all around.

"It says he was in an accident," said Mr. Davenport in slow disbelief. "It must have been Krane. After I sent him away Krane found him. He found him and killed him."

"He saved our lives, and we weren't there to return the favor," said Chase quietly.

"My brother-" whispered Donald, so quietly it was almost inaudible. "My flesh and blood. He died because I wouldn't listen to him; because I was too caught up in my own selfish grudges. He lost his life, and it was all because of me." Tears began to form in Donald's eyes, and Tasha quickly hugged her husband tightly as he cried into her shoulder.

But Bree could not cry. She could not find the power to. She just sat there, her face completely frozen, and her eyes glazed over. Just as she had been for the past seven days.

The wind gently begin to pick up, blowing her hair to and fro, all across her face. The sun seemed to gain more power as it set, and its last bit of energy before it died it shined directly on the little family, knowing that they needed it now more then the rest of the world. The birds began to chirp. The sound of running water could be heard. A car drove by the entrance of the cemetery.

And Bree, who had not shown emotion for a week, who had been locked up within herself, who had not laughed, giggled, screamed, and had barley talked, who had hidden behind a prison of her emotions, who hadn't let a single feeling be known, finally let one break out.

And it was a tear.

A single, lonely, tear.

" _So this is what it feels like,"_ she answered herself. _"To lose a family member forever."_

 **Yeah, so I don't know what it is with me and graveyards, but a little bit ago my family went on a trip and we went to a cemetery to see the tombstone of someone famous, and from the moment I walked past the entry gate, I just felt this strange feeling. Now before you ask, no, I do not believe in ghosts, but something was defiantly creepy. I just personally think that graveyards are creepy anyway, and I agree with Bree that it is a horrible way to remember someone. Why not a monument or the house they lived in? It just seems like a gravestone should be private, their final resting place that should be respected and left alone, and not gawked at. Anyway, that's just how I feel, I don't know if anyone else would feel the same, but something about that cemetery that day; it was very unnerving and I literally could not bring myself to walk any further back then halfway. I had to stay up front where the sun shined brightly and refused to go any father. So, this story was born!**

 **How was it? Good? Bad? Great? Poor? Please tell me in the reviews, and thank-you so much everyone for reading!**


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